Good Things to Come

I must say that today was a good day. I have been feeling kinda blah lately but today really put a smile on my face. I have been sending out so many resumes it makes me sick. I ventured outside my box and answered some writing jobs as well. So far it paid off. I got offered a column on the Patch for Bellmore. It's a website that supplies local information and events. I pitched an idea and the editor, Jaime, went for it. I am so excited. I know its not a super fab magazine but it's my first paid writing gig. You have to start somewhere, right? My bi-weekly column (not sure the name of it yet) is going to have photographs taken by me (of course) of the area of Bellmore with some history or information about the subjects in the photos. I wanted to do something artistic so I can use my skills and help people view their surroundings in a new light. I hope to start next week!

I got back into yoga last week and honestly it has been lifting me to new heights. I love it. My body may be sore but I feel great and more centered. I was sort of losing it for awhile and needed a pick me up. Yoga has definitely helped me keep my head up and feel more confident. Not to mention, have a much stronger body (you should feel my biceps!) My recent decision to become vegetarian and eat more healthy has also really turned my life around. I feel happier and more peaceful.

I got a new project to work on today as well. The painter I work, Leonard Meiselman, with wants me to design a small catalogue of his work. Should be a simple project but I am excited to see the outcome. A second project came my way yesterday from Petite Picasso. A book order came in so I am heading to the office tomorrow to get it all scanned. Finally, some work!!

Today really showed me to be positive and not to let anything get me down. I am going to keep doing what I am doing and move forward with a smile. The resumes will keep on flowing and I am going to contact more newspapers and magazines for possible writing assignments. Wish me luck! I am crossing my fingers for good things to come.

I Am One Soul

These past couple of days have been dragging. There aren't any new projects on my plate right now and that is a little depressing. I always like to be working on something. Especially, since it's my only source of income. Looking for work hasn't been uplifting either. Resume after resume and no response. It really gets to you after awhile. I am sick of getting excited about a job and then hear nothing back. It makes me feel like giving up. Danny and I talked the other day and agreed that we should start looking for work in other states. New York doesn't seem to be doing that great so it might be time to move on. I answered some ads in New Haven and Philly. I hope to hear something back soon. I wouldn't want to move farther than the New England area so that is where I am looking. I guess we will see what happens.

I have so many things on my mind. It never stops. My dreams are crazy and I haven't been sleeping very well. I just want some peace of mind. I want something to change. I want to make money and not worry about my future. I want to be happy. I have a lot of things that almost complete the big picture. My boyfriend, Danny, is the one I plan on starting a family with so the search for me is over. I love my dog Olive and am happy to have a little buddy by my side who loves me. I am healthy which is always a good thing. I love where I live. My apartment is so comfortable and beautiful and I am grateful to have this place. I have a great family and a handful of awesome friends. Although, I don't get to see them much I know they will always be there for me. So what's missing?

I just want to make a living doing what I love. Is that too much to ask? I spent my whole life working towards a successful career in the arts. All my education and experience is in art and design. This is what I was meant to do. Even if I am able to write for a living that would be fine. I have many skills that I do not want to go to waste. I am awesome at what I do and I do not want to think any different. My confidence is at a standstill...

All my life I had a feeling I was put on this earth for a reason. I knew I was different from everyone around me. I always felt my mission was to experience life and share what I know. To use my voice and express myself to the world. The fact that I am skilled in the arts, music and writing only justifies my thoughts. The talents I possess would only help me to open myself up and push me to evolve at a faster pace. I still feel this way. Only now I have different dreams and expectations for the future.

Now that I am 30 and have found the man I want to marry I can't help but think of the future. I picture us having a nice house on some land where its quiet and peaceful. Surrounded by trees, grass and the sounds of nature. Growing our own food and maybe even selling some at a local farmers market. Having a couple of animals out back so we can give them a good home and a healthy life. I always wanted piglets so maybe 2 or 3. Two cows so they can keep each other company. And also some chickens...fresh eggs! This would make me happy. I would love to be able to work from home and continue to design and write. I would also like the same for Danny. I would also love to own a bed & breakfast. That would be an extra! I guess you can say I want a simple life. I just want a life of peace and security. I also hope to have the time to do the things I love like reading, traveling, cooking, playing music and being one with nature. I need these things in order to feel sane.

When it comes time to have children I hope to have a boy (Dimitri) and a girl (Brooklyn Lee). I want to be able to give them all the time in the world and not get stuck in a 9-5 job that will make me miserable. I plan on raising them vegetarian and teaching them good morals and ethics. Not only how to be a good person but to show them what the world around them really is. I will not lie to my children. They will know truth and because of that be able to grow up strong, smart individuals. I will surround them with books, music and art and share my talents and skills so that they can be the best at what they do. I will be open and honest about my life and choices so they feel comfortable around me and never hesitant to share their thoughts. I have so many high hopes for my kids. I just want this world to be a better a place to live in so that they don't have to clean up all of our mistakes. They deserve better.

When I was young I expressed my thoughts in every way possible. Whether it was through my art, my writing or my music, I always got my point across and people always listened. I was fearless and did not hesitate to experiment. I wanted to taste the world. I feel like I learned a lot among the years and still have no regrets. I am a passionate woman who will not stop for anything to be heard. Back in the day I was more reckless and did not think much about my actions. Sometimes I think how I am lucky to even be alive. Today I feel I am more grateful for having experienced the things that I have and be able to be here to tell the stories. I think that because I lived a colorful life I am able to truly be a vessel for sharing positivity with the world. When I learn new things and gain helpful knowledge I can't hold back from sharing it all. I am strong. I choose to speak for those who can't. I am ambitious. I choose to act toward evil and break it down. I am loving. I choose to help other people so that they can live the best way possible. I am smart. I choose to be heard through many outlets. I am hope. I choose to share my life experiences so people can see that anything is possible.

I am one soul. I choose to open myself up to the world and spread love and positivity. Its time for souls to reunite. Its time to break the cycle and evolve for change.