Recipe for Relaxation

This week has totally drained me of any energy I could of saved for the next few days. The weekend flew by way to fast. I have been making a lot of changes to the apartment so new furniture and rearranging things have been taking up a lot of my time. We got our new bookshelves on Friday and set them up on Saturday. Had to reorganize and move some pieces around in order to make it look super nice. The three bookshelves we replaced were taken out and I was able to fit one more in the office. All this took me Friday night and all day Saturday to do! Danny was busy at band practice and then had to be in the studio on the weekend so I was working on these projects solo. When he got home we headed out to get a bite to eat and stopped by Ikea to take a look at a TV stand we liked. We wound up getting new curtains and a duvet cover for the bedroom. I always like to make changes. Sometimes a small thing like new curtains could reinvent a whole room. The old ones they replaced were moved to the living room and they look great!

Sunday was another tiring day. Did shit around the house while Danny went to the studio to record. My mother came in from Jersey to pick up the 2 bookshelves I replaced. Then I did some work and finally chilled out for awhile and watched TV. Danny got home around 1 am or so from a show in the city. We were both exhausted and in need of much rest. Monday comes around and I headed to grandma's house to do some laundry and some shopping. The day went longer than I planned and I got home around 5:30 instead of 4. I had wanted to get most of my work done but of course that wasn't happening. I had a case of car sickness while shopping and it totally ruined my chances of being in "work mode". I didn't have to make dinner because Danny was at the studio after work to record his last 3 songs so I just ate some pasta and butter. Eating has been an issue with me lately. Its not that I am starving myself but I don't eat enough. Add that to allergies and not enough sleep and you get one sick, sad Melissa.

Tuesday comes around way too soon and the weather is not making me smile. Rainy and crappy, yay. I was supposed to drive into Queens to help my Dad with his new place but I was really out of it and had to seriously get work done. I did what I could as far as work and ran out to the store to get a few things for the house. Before I know it I am rushing again. It seems as if time is not on my side these days. On my way home my battery dies. Of course. It happened while turning onto my street off 135. Cars beeping and me stressing. A lady stops and helps me push my car to the side and this guy gets me a jump. Thank god for these people! I am happy I was only down the street from my house. After the jump I drove home and worked for 45 minutes before I started dinner. Rushing and stressed. Danny comes home and we eat. I feel bad because I was in a horrible mood.

So he goes and gets the battery for me and we attempt to change it. Then we realize we are going to have an issue with my car alarm. I disarmed it a while ago but now that we are changing the battery it will go off again. I can't find the little piece I need. In attempt to save myself from slitting my throat I say we call it quits and do it in the morning. Finally, we get to chill and watch So You Think You Can Dance. LOVE that show! A little pissed off that Billy Bell got sick and won't be performing but I will get over it. He would of won hands down!

Today I was hoping for a better day. Danny changed my battery in the morning and that went well. The weather sucked yet again. I felt like crap this morning because everything is catching up to me. Plus, I forgot to mention, that it's my PMS week. Yep, another thing to celebrate! Always get excited when this week rolls around. This is another reason why I have been feeling over tired and shitty. So I get ready and head off to work and there goes my alarm. After about 10 minutes I find that piece I need (it was on the floor) and emergency disarm the car. Work was ok. An hour before I left I started to get a migraine that only got worse as the minutes past. Driving home was a total blur and very painful. On top of feeling like my head was going to explode and my eyes were going to pop out of my head, I had to urge to throw up. Thats always fun! Especially, when you are driving....in the rain. I get home and immediately pop 3 pills and go to bed. Alarm goes off and its 5:30. I have to get dinner ready. Danny comes home and we eat yummy chicken quesadillas.

I still feel drained. I have bags under my eyes. I need sleep. I feel like this week should be over but its only halfway done. Tomorrow I go into Queens to meet my Dad. Friday I don't want to do anything!!! But I have work that needs to get done. Then we have plans to eat dinner over my friend Heather's. I'm just happy I don't have to cook!

I need a recipe for relaxation.

One Strange Kid

Everyone has bad habits. Some are worse than others. I have a few that remain the same after all these years and some that don't exist anymore. When I was young I was a strange child. I know a lot of kids are weird but I was definitely unique. For some reason I did not want anyone to see my feet. Its the stupidest thing in the world because there is absolutely nothing wrong with my feet. They are actually kinda cute. Anyway, so here I am trying to hide my feet when possible. Socks were my heroes. If I was alone than it was no problem. I actually liked being barefoot. It just wasn't happening in public.

I used to be in gymnastics when I was a kid and was actually really good. They wanted me to start competing and everything. After a while I just wanted to do something else. But there was one issue I had with the balance beam. You had to be barefoot! Yikes. I asked so many times to wear something to cover them up but it wasn't happening. Before you know it, gymnastics was not more.

I also had a problem with eating in front of other people. This issue started from elementary and continued up until high school. It wasn't that I was starving myself, even though I was. The whole skinny thing had nothing to do with it. I was thin and looked fine. I just didn't like the idea of people watching me as I ate. Sounds retarded, I know. When I went to St. Genevieve's I used to hide my paper bag lunches in the coat closets and just let them collect. My teacher did not like that. Eventually, it would smell and all the kids got a laugh. I did this to be funny. I was a smart ass back then. Something I guess has never changed :) But because I was hiding them I did not eat. In high school it was the same except I did not bring lunch. Sometimes I would eat french fries or a donut and cut it up so it wouldn't be messy. But otherwise I hardly ate. Then later when I was alone I would gorge on food because I was so friggin hungy! Ridiculous. For some reason I also hated to ask for food. Like when my friends and I went to get something to eat I would ask one of them to put in my order. What a dope!

Another habit of mine that bothered people was my staring problem. Its not that I would stare people down. It was more of a daydreaming kind of stare. Just looking. I tend to do the same thing today. I can't help it sometimes. When there is a lot going on around me I get distracted and daydream off to weirdo land...haha. This habit, I believe, has led me to another obsessive trademark. The art of twirling. I have twirled my friggin hair for years and its something I cannot stop. The only time it was beneficial was when I had dreads. Otherwise, its something I do to be calm I guess. I was always a nervous person and twirling my hair helped. Especially, when I was staring off into la la land.

These all seem harmless and funny. Maybe even cute to some people. But there are more that aren't. I have been told that this next habit of mine is a serious problem. It is one I cannot stop. I know there are people out there who do the same. I have an obsessive addiction to picking my skin. Skin has always been a strange issue with me. As a child, I did everything I could to damage it in some way. Whether it was drawing on my body with marker, cutting and scarring it or ripping it apart. I found a way to distort was I was born with. Now I just get a lot of tattoos and pick away. It may sound gross to some. Hell, it sort of sounds gross to me. But I can't and will never stop.

You know my family used to always tell me to stop or else I would get gangrene and my fingers would have to get cut off. That obviously didn't work or happen. Nice try! Its a weird thing to do what I do but I don't view it as ugly. I look at my hands and my fingers and absolutely love how they look. I am very compulsive about having nails and if I don't see at least a 1/4 inch of skin on my fingertips I freak. I have never had or liked fingernails. Thats why I am so attracted when people bite them. There is something about it that comforts me. So picking my skin has gone through its stages but the issue remains. When I show people sometimes what I have done they can't believe I can do that to myself. I guess its my way of showing tough love..ha. I enjoy doing it, its relaxes me when I am stressed and I love how it looks. Why should I stop?

The last habit that I admit has gotten better over the years is my compulsive cleanliness. I hate dirt and dust and when something looks dirty I have to clean it. I have been known to go over people's houses and just start cleaning for them. I try not to be rude but if they aren't gonna do it than someone has to! I don't mind. I love to clean and always will. The world is such a better place when its clean.

So there you go. All of my bad habits on the table. I am glad to say that my "no eating in public" issue is gone. I don't care who is looking at me now. My staring problem has gotten a lot better. And that whole foot thing is over. Im barefoot all the time and don't have a care in the world who's around. I look back at these things I used to do and feel and find it crazy that I was like that. As I said before, I was a strange kid.

The Journey Up Ahead

So a little while ago I had a phone appointment with a psychic that my dad got for me. The guy's name is Michael and he lives up in Albany. My dad received a good reading so he suggested I have one done too. I am happy I did. I know there are a lot of people out there who don't believe in this stuff but I always have. I feel that certain individuals have special abilities and why not use them to help other people. If you can make some money as well than go for it. Its the same thing as me making money off of art. Its a talent that I have every right to use and make a living off of doing it. This is the second reading I had done in my life and I was very pleased with the results.

First of all, he said I was youthful and have psychic abilities that run in my family. He then mentioned something about moving or moving furniture. I told him I was redecorating so that made sense. The two topics he mainly talked about were my relationship and my career. Both are looking bright which made me happy. It was the details that were very interesting.

As far as my relationship with Danny he said that there are some issues we are dealing with that aren't resolved. He feels that Danny needs to be more positive and get his head together. I found it funny that he mentioned certain characteristics about him that were so true. The moodiness, the pouty face, wearing black, seems to be pissed off all the time, the dark demeanor....all so very true about Danny. Michael also received some vibes about heavy metal music which can relate to his band, Thracian. So far he was on point. The future seemed to hold some good things for Danny's career as well. He saw a new job coming in November and some kind of class or training. He said that Danny will be learning something new and it will beneficial to him and his work. Also, that he would be designing album covers, cd's...more designing for the music industry. That made me happy because Danny would love to be more involved with that. So not so bad.

My career looked very good. The main things he saw were animals and children. This is the second time I have been told this. After figuring things out we came to the conclusion that Petite Picasso will be very successful. Duh, children's artwork. Even the logo, a dog, was familiar to him. He also got a feeling about a new job! Something that will be perfect for me. I told him about Art Farms, a job I applied to last month but didn't hear back from yet. He said he had a good feeling I would get a response by the end of the month. It makes sense. Art Farms - children, artwork and animals!! So we will see if they contact me. Other than that he said I do not have to worry about making it in the art world and that I will be a very popular artist. Something that has to do with babies and children up to grammar school age. Whether its designing a clothing line or nursery designs, something like that. I will be making the bulk of the income and be very successful.

For the future he said Danny and I will eventually move into a nice house and have our studio to work out of. Possibly even team up and have a home based business on the side. Nice :) He also said that we will have an interesting and exciting life. Woohoo, I wouldn't have it any other way!

I am curious as to what will happen in December because he said Danny will make me feel special in some way. Whether its a gift or something romantic. It will be a milestone in our relationship. hmmm.....

So I will continue to be positive and have open arms to the opportunities that come my way. I know that some of the things may not happen. But if the universe is aware that it will, my eyes remain open to the journey up ahead.

Truly Alive

Some of you may know that I recently started a website, d+eco, awhile ago. Its where I bring eco-friendly products and modern design together along with tips and reference on how to live a green, healthy life. I have wanted to launch the site for a long time but haven't had to chance to. Now that it is up and running I am really happy that people seem to like it. I truly feel it is important to be kind to the earth and treat your body with respect and love. That means eating natural, organic foods and using only the purest of products in your home and on your skin. You are worth more than toxic chemicals and artificial ingredients. I started d+eco to spread this message and hope that I can inspire people to live better, healthier and have a more positive view on life.

Its a funny thing. I went to Whole Foods today to pick up a few things and the feeling I get when I walk out the door is confidence. I am proud that I take care of myself, my family and my home. Because of this we will all benefit in the future. Besides, natural & organic products aren't really that much more money than others. I have done the math and the small bit of difference is worth it for me. What is a couple of dollars when it comes to the ones you love. Nothing. I really wish everyone felt this way. It seems to be getting better but America is behind my friends. We need to get it together...and fast. The damage we are doing to ourselves, our environment and others is disgusting. Take a look around. You can't miss it.

Everyday I see something that bothers me. Whether its an overweight person eating crap, a beautiful home that is wasting away or someone having total disregard for the planet...I have had enough. Im sorry. There is just no reason to eat food that destroys your body and your mind. The worst is when I see children eating fast food and artificial crap on a daily basis. Hello people!! Learn how to raise your kids the right way! Why would you allow that fucking garbage to be consumed by the most important people in your life. It doesn't make sense to me. It just shows you don't care. Plain and simple. There are so many other delicious and healthy treats to feed them as well as food. If you raise your kids with the high standards you should have than they will be grow up wanting only the best for themselves. That is what a parents job is. No one else is raising them, you are. Stop being lazy and cook a good meal. Stop being cheap and bring some healthy food in the house. Show your children that its cool to be kind to the earth. If we don't instill good morals into our little ones we will all be in trouble in the future.

I don't mean to be judgmental towards parents but its enough already. I may not be a mother but I will be not too long from now. I feel that I am strong enough and smart enough to raise a healthy, wholesome, successful child. I will go great lengths to give them the world. I will make sure they have the options and the choice to be creative and express themselves. Whether it be art, music, dance or sports. My kids will have the opportunities they need to grow into well rounded adults. When I was young, I had so many of these opportunities and I took them all. The endless days at summer camp, gymnastics, softball, tennis, dance lessons, special art courses...these activities all helped me to grow and learn what it was I really wanted to do. Of course, I decided to go with art. Always have and always will. But to do all different things in addition to that was important to my personal growth.

I have always been one who loves change. When I felt like I conquered something or got bored I moved on to the next thing. I was always ahead of the game. Even though at times it seemed like I wasn't. I always knew who I was inside and never questioned my beliefs. Today I am even more confident and strong as a woman and will defeat anyone who tries to knock me down. Despite all the bullshit and hard times in my life, I am still here, living a positive life and trying to make it better every day. You see, I had a single mother. A mother who did what she had to do in order for me to have access to the world. She worked very hard when I was a kid and with the help of my family I got through a lot of things no one thought I could. Life throws crazy things your way. Some crazier than others. I dealt with my issues on my terms. When something didn't allow me to do that I just played along until I had the power to change it. Works every time!

My experiences have brought me so much pain and anger. But at the same time, they have shown me what happiness really could be and that loving myself is the most important thing. One lesson I will share with my children. I feel that until one has experienced a great amount of life's curve balls and has learned to be stable in those situations they shouldn't have kids. It makes sense. If you don't know shit and haven't learned enough about life than how the hell are you going to raise a child. I have always felt this way. When I see kids having kids it really annoys me. Not only that, but when people don't have the means to bring a child into the world and be able to give them the very best, than don't have children! Its called a condom, use one. With all the birth control out there today there is no reason to have an "unplanned birth". Its lack of respect for life and also a lack of maturity. Its kind of sad that your future or present child was a mistake and will not receive what they deserve.

Another important factor in this equation is the new life of the parents. When you are not prepared for a new addition to the family life can get boring, unsatisfying and tough. It can definitely bring you down and that means your children will be seeing that. Why would you want your kids to look at you and think you aren't doing anything exciting and fun or even ambitious. They learn from that. They need role models to look up to. There are hundreds of single parents out there who have put their life on hold to raise a child or children because they have to. When you are not prepared this is what happens. Im not talking about the results of divorce. Thats a whole other topic. I am simply stating that when you don't make smart decisions and do not have your cards laid out right, you will have a life that may not be worth living.

Yea yea, I know what your thinking, you can't imagine your life without your little one. But back then before they existed...they didn't exist!! I want my children to see how vibrant and positive I am. I want to share all the things I have done and tell them stories about my adventures. I want them to see how their mother and father are successful and enjoy the lives they have made for themselves. Just because you have kids doesn't mean your life should end. Thats bullshit. Yes, things will change, of course. But it doesn't mean you can't go out with your friends or travel. It doesn't mean you can't get an education or take extra classes to move up in your career. It sure as hell doesn't mean you can't still have a loving and fulfilled marriage. There are many solutions that are offered to parents so that they may go on living their lives and remaining a happy family. You see, when you are not in the right place in your life to have kids these solutions may seem further from your grasp.

So as you can see I am very passionate about children. This being said, the fact that parents do not make the proper decisions to care for their kids really pisses me off. Its not that hard. If you do the small things than the bigger issues seem a lot easier. All I can hope for is that this new generation will be smart, strong and experienced and help this planet to grow and prosper. We can't accomplish anything if we are not healthy and knowledgeable. Expand your mind, learn all you can and share what you know. What is the point of living if you are not truly alive.

Where the Wild Things Are

Last night I saw Where the Wild Things Are and I thought it was brilliant. Being someone who appreciates all aspects of film I was in awe. Not only was this story one that we are all familiar with but it was presented to us all in such visual glamour. How can you not fall in love with Max (the character as well as the actor) as he heroically takes charge of his fears and lets his ambitious imagination take him beyond reality. A reality we all can understand. When it seemed our youth wasn't strong enough to make a change or be heard. When it seemed like the world around us had all the control and just wouldn't listen. We all used to be "wild things" when we were young. Watching this film brought me back to how wonderful it used to feel to be a child and let it all go.

Talking to a few people I have come across some bad reviews and it makes me sad. I heard it was boring, they say. Well, the movie is for kids! What did people expect? A blockbuster with monsters destroying the world. Please, we get enough of that repetitive bullshit in the cinema. This film was beautiful and real. The emotion that was captured on camera was amazing. The characters were fun, creative and uniquely portrayed. The voice overs were great as well, not to mention, the soundtrack. The Yeah Yeah Yeah's were a perfect choice. I was 100% satisfied with the result of this project and if you didn't feel the same than all I can say is... that sucks for you. You really missed out on an adventure.

If you are a fan of the story, like I am, you probably couldn't wait for the film to come out. When I saw the trailer I got so excited. Danny and I both. I was also happy and relieved that Spike Jonze was directing it. Being that I am huge fan of his I knew he would knock it out of the park. It wasn't crazy or overdone. It was just perfect. Thank God the characters were in costumes and not digital reproductions. It made all the difference. Technology is great and all but every once in awhile its nice to throw in a theatrical flair that is missing so much in films today. I have to say it was a fascinating journey back in time that I will hold onto forever.

You can view the trailer and read more about the film on its website: Where the Wild Things Are

From Past to Present

These days have been filled with lots of moments that I will remember for a long time. I am presently in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, Danny, and we have been together since August of 2008. We have had our small ups and downs but nothing crazy. Something I am not used to. Lets just say I have had my fair share of relationship bullshit in the past and find it refreshing to be a part of one that is calm and collected. Danny and I are very much alike and only differ when it comes to our personalities. But all in all we compliment each other and have been very happy since we've met.

This past week we took our second trip together that was long overdue. We took a 9 hour road trip and traveled up to Maine toward the Acadia region. Our dog, Olive, hopped on board and joined us for what seemed to be our first "family" vacation. We rented a 2 bedroom cottage out on Mount Desert Island and had a week to relax and enjoy the surrounding beauty. Visiting Maine has always been a deam of mine and both Danny and I were so excited to finally go. It was such a difference from our first trip to Atlanta back in September of 2008. Not to say our time there wasn't fun, it was. However, we only had 3 days there so trying to pack in things to do got a little hectic. Nevertheless, it is a memory that will not be forgotten. Maine, in comparison, was ideally what we both needed. To be far away from home, have nothing to do and see captivating views everywhere you look was the perfect getaway.

So now that we are back home we pick up where we left off. Danny is back to his full time job and I am once again all over the place. Freelancing is always how I saw myself working but sometimes it can be stressful. If you don't create a schedule for yourself the day can get wacky. Don't get me wrong, I love working from home, but with Olive barking and wanting to play every minute and people calling and emailing me at the same time I just want to pull my hair out! Its in these moments that I have to remember to breathe and take a step back.

I currently am working on two projects that I hope to finish up this week, if not than next. A new big project for The Public Safety Group came my way and I plan to start this week. My uncle hooked me up with that one. And there are a couple of clients that I do continuous work for. I also am the designer for Petiite Picasso so I go there about once a week to scan orders and work and do the rest from home. I love having an open schedule but its not as open as some people think. I don't just sit on my ass all day twirling my hair. Although, twirling my hair is a habit of mine I am usually working on projects as well as other things in between. I am just as busy as the next person. The only difference is I am not on a 9-5 time clock. Thank God! That is not me....at all.

I would like to do more with my time in the next coming months. I know, I know, I was just complaining about being so busy. Well, I really feel the need to involve myself in the arts a little more. Whether its going to a show or museum, a concert or just taking a day to photograph. When I was in school I was immersed in art and design...all aspects. I miss that. So I will make it a point to be more involved. That is my first mission. Second mission to focus on getting my business, Scribbles and Doodles, more exposure. I am very disappointed with how it has turned out so far and I think that if I just advertise more and maybe reinvent the website it can more successful. I do have a third mission but lets just save that one for later. I don't want to put too much on my plate. I think I will be busy enough!